Goodbye Terri Shiavo

I was relieved to hear that Terri Shiavo finally died. I felt sorry and embarrassed for her, her husband and her family. I also felt sorry and embarrassed for the United States.

I don't think any of us know the whole story behind this case. We certainly do not know all that went on between the husband and Terri's family during the last 15 years. I am pretty confident that their contact with each other grew more and more acrimonious as time went on and eventually ended in deep, deep resentment and hatred towards each other.

One good result from this regrettable case is that Americans learned that they need to think about their eventual aging and death now - even if they are young. Terri was 26 when she had her accident, an age when people do not have death, accidents or debilitating diseases on their minds. People need to have a "Living Will" giving "Power of Attorney" to a selected individual to handle their medical affairs when and if they become incapable of handling them. I don't think any of us would want to end up like Terri.

Terri did not leave a written will or statement about her wishes if she should become incapacitated. Her husband remembered a conversation with her when she mentioned to him that she would not want to be kept artificially alive. We have to take his word on this but he supposedly has witnesses that can verify the conversation took place and what was said.

United States law appears to side with the husband in cases like this. I am both a husband and a father and I can empathize with both sides BUT if both sides really care and love the person in question and want what is best for that person, there really should not be any sides.

Terri has been in her vegetative state for 15 years. Initially, the husband made every effort to help her even taking her to California for some experimental treatments. He eventually became convinced there was no hope left for her based on medical evidence. I think all can agree that after 15 years there was no hope of any meaningful recovery. Obviously, Terri's parents did not agree.

Were the parents deluding themselves about her chances of recovery? Were they irrational? Did they doubt the medical evidence? Did the fact that she could breath on her own and open her eyes, give them false hope? Did their hatred for her husband make them oppose anything he wanted to do?

Did the husband's hatred for the family induce him to make decisions that would hurt them? His decision to bar the family from Terri's room in her last moments and his decision to bury her ashes in a secret spot so the family could not visit them, was it just plain revenge for the trouble they have caused him?

One thing is certain, the politicians, especially the Republicans, behaved reprehensibly. They knew full well what our laws state and yet they tried to override them instead of amending them through due process. They threatened judges that did not agree with them with voting them out of office. They made inflammatory speeches accusing the Democrats of murdering Terri.

In a special meeting of Tom DeLay and other conservatives in Congress, his real intentions were caught on tape. DeLay thanked God for sending Terri to the Republicans so they could use her to damage the Democrats. They saw Terri as a political football to be used in this great political opportunity. So much for the sincerity of their intentions.

Many good people have disagreed with what happened to Terri. They did agree that life and death decisions should only be made by the people closest to Terri.

Maybe once a person turns 21 they should be legally bound to produce a living will. You can always change it as your life situation changes but at least you would not become a Terri Shiavo.