A CHOICE IN DEATH

My mother died yesterday at the age of 91; a month shy of 92. Her death was not a “good” death if death can ever be good.

Although she enjoyed relatively good mental and physical health most of her life, her decline in the last six months of her life left me wondering if there is a better way to exit this life.

I respect the work that nursing homes do even though they are always criticized for not doing enough for loved ones that need to be there. Also I respect hospice workers who have an arduous job preparing the patient and the family for eventual death; a job I could not dream of doing over and over again.

But was there a time in my mother’s decline where she could have said, enough; let me die?

Actually she said it on a number of occasions but it was not taken seriously maybe because she did not mean it seriously. As her mind wandered, she always thought that she could get back to health and her own apartment and we did not have the heart to tell her that this could not happen and that this is the end.

Each case is different and each person is different but I fervently believe that a “choice” has to be available to those who wish to stop at a point in their decline and say enough is enough; I do not wish to continue; I want to leave with dignity.

Our society is becoming more progressive as evidenced by the acceptance of gay marriage and therefore I have hope that eventually we will come to the realization that our lives are our own to control.