VATICAN: Celibacy issue has come up again...

For the first time ever, the pope spoke about celibacy and the sex-abuse scandal in a letter to seminarians (students studying for the priesthood).

This is a huge step for a pope because in the past, the subject was verboten!

Some background on the issue of celibacy is needed to be able to discuss the subject adequately. First, celibacy is not a doctrine or dogma; it is a tradition that has become a law / regulation of the church but it can be changed as the church sees fit.

In the history of the Catholic Church there has been a lot of back and forth on the subject with early priests and bishops being married with children. There were popes that had children who later became popes themselves. Hell, even St. Peter was married since the Bible talks about his mother-in-law. No one knows if Jesus was married but at that time in history, most Jewish men were married by a certain age.

Since most men were married in the early stages of the church, some bishops were calling on them to abstain from having sex with their wives to show their commitment to the church. I appears that “sex”, even with your wife was somehow “unclean” and therefore diminished the “purity” required to be close to God. For this reason, the Catholic Church makes a big deal out of the “virginity” of Jesus’ mother even though she had multiple children as stated in the Bible.

Haggling over the issue went on for hundreds of years until the Second Lateran Council (1139) said enough is enough, priests cannot marry and have to remain celibate their entire life. Much of that had to do with church property being left to the children of priests, bishops, etc.

The issue today is, did celibacy contribute to the priestly sex-abuse scandal? Specifically, did the requirement of celibacy draw a certain type of male to the priesthood, specifically, not a normal, heterosexual male but more homosexuals and obviously, pedophiles?

I remember that growing up Catholic, many young boys wanted to become priests. I always felt it was because the priest was in charge, listened to and adored by everyone; I don’t think we thought much of service to God at that early age. As time went on, we were consumed by girls and our hormones and that put an end to any thoughts of priesthood. That is not to say that some of us grew to believe that we had a genuine “calling” to minister to God’s flocks and that has got to be the idealized view of why men become priests.

Not to make this longer than it should be but I remember some men that had a calling but could not accept celibacy and married but joined the priesthood after their wives died; now that is a calling and I think an example of the dual and opposing strengths of both sexuality and a spiritual calling.

The pope, talking to the seminarians, asked whether they question the choice of celibacy as making sense in a truly human way of life. I would have to say that it makes absolutely no sense if one is to live a truly human life.

Pope Benedict described the celibacy requirement as a “gift” from God which makes no sense whatsoever and may be a result of Benedict’s own deprivation of a truly normal life.

The fact that nearly all other “main” religions allow their priests, ministers, etc. to marry has to tell you something and the fact that the Vatican stubbornly sticks to their celibacy tradition even though it is not dogma, has to tell you something also.

The Vatican needs to be populated by normal people and not people that pretend to be normal and who defend their way of life even when faced with the fact that their way of life has led to perverted behavior that has harmed countless thousands of children throughout the ages.

The celibacy requirement will eventually die a natural death as the supply of priests dwindles to nothing.

The Vatican currently is courting married Anglican priests to come over to the Catholic side. Also, as I mentioned, widowers are being accepted into the priesthood and maybe there is a lesson here. Maybe men should go into the priesthood AFTER they have lived a normal life for awhile.

Those men would bring a wisdom with them that could be a true benefit when ministering to God’s children. Maybe bringing young men into the priesthood at an age where they have not truly matured as men or citizens of the world is the problem.

Now how do you convince a bunch of old men in the Vatican that they are wrong and have been wrong for centuries?

Related articles

• Pope defends priestly celibacy (foxnews.com)
• Pope, in Letter, Takes On Celibacy Debate (online.wsj.com)
• 2 Belgian bishops want debate on priest celibacy (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
• Belgian Bishops Question Mandatory Celibacy for Catholic Priests (online.wsj.com)

NOBEL PRIZE: For In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF)...good or bad?

Another topic I wanted to touch on concerned the NOBEL PRIZE being awarded to biologist Robert Edwards, who perfected in-vitro fertilization (IVF) in the 1980s which resulted in over 4 million children being born through IVF worldwide.

I have known a few (actually many) couples who could not conceive for one reason or another, and turned to IVF; it worked for some and others finally turned to adoption.

Originally, I thought Mother Nature either allowed couples to conceive or not and if not, adoption was the only option left and I thought one should not tamper with what Mother Nature has decided.

As I learned more about the causes of infertility and why some men’s egos would never allow for adoption, I began to see where Mother Nature may need a helping hand from medical science.

At the outset, I questioned the use of IVF of embryos not from the biological parents, i.e. the egg and sperm of others. I can see where either an egg or the sperm of a biological parent is used but to not use either seems a little strange to me; why not adopt – it would be the same. I guess some women want to go through the birth experience even if it is not her egg or her husband’s sperm. Lesbians use their own eggs with sperm from a donor as do women that want a child but do not want to get married. Things are changing in our society, I guess…

Anyway, my main point is that as soon as the Nobel Prize for biology was awarded to Dr. Edwards, the Vatican came out against it as “completely out of order”. This was expected even though the Vatican must be aware that many Catholic couples have borne children using this method.

The objection is again the “embryos”; the ones not used and discarded and the ones left over and used for stem cell research and the fact that “man” is playing God.

I have studied a variety of opinions on this issue mainly from Catholics like “Catholics for Free Choice” and others and I also have stuck to my own reasoning on the subject.

I still maintain that sperm and ova are products of humans as part of our method of procreation. A husband and wife produce embryos and those embryos are their property to do with as they choose. The same goes for sperm donors as well as egg donors.

As for embryos, yes they are potential human beings but are very far from being a human being. To treat embryos as human beings is just absurd.

As far as playing God, there are a number of ways to look at that question. Since no one, including the Vatican, knows what God wants, doesn’t want or is thinking, the question is rendered moot.

Religion, being a human construct, can pretend to know what God wants and make rules accordingly; this is what the Vatican does. The reality of this position is that they as humans make the rules and not some deity but common sense tells us that humans that actually create families and raise children are better suited to make the rules than some old, celibate guys that have absolutely no experience in the real world of procreation.

I will agree with the Vatican and other concerned groups that there should be limits placed on IVF. Currently, physicians implant many embryos in the female with the hope that one or more will actually take and result in a viable child. In some cases, all the implanted embryos take and if the mother does not want to abort some of them, all are born and with that many children born at the same time, some if not all will be damaged in some way.

I still remember that idiot in California and her idiot doctor that allowed eight babies to be born knowing full well there was no husband and no means of supporting those eight children. For a doctor to be complicit in such an act, calls for an immediate license suspension.

Just recently, scientists have discovered how to choose the embryo that has the best chance of surviving to term in the womb. They discovered that the embryo that divides the earliest is the most viable and all you have to do is take pictures of the embryos to show which divides earliest. In this way, doctors will not have to implant many embryos but hopefully just one.

As for biologist Dr. Robert Edwards, shown in pictures with the first so called test-tube baby, the world owes him many thanks for not only did he enable many infertile couples to experience parenthood but his work enabled stem cell research which will, I firmly believe, eradicate devastating disease states that afflict many of us and prohibit us from living fulfilling lives to ripe old ages.

Related articles

• Is the Catholic Church's Argument Against IVF a Bit Holey? (healthland.time.com)
• Vatican: Nobel to IVF pioneer raises questions (sfgate.com)
• IVF: Technology evangelicals don't oppose (boston.com)
• "IVF Pioneer Earns Nobel Prize - and what does that mean for us?" and related posts (feministmormonhousewives.org)
• IVF discovery opened Pandora's box of ethical issues (reuters.com)
• British in vitro pioneer wins the Nobel Prize in medicine (philly.com)

AMERICAN CATHOLIC COUNCIL: Detroit convention in 2011...be there!

One of the subjects I have on my list to comment on is a national convention of liberal Catholics to be held in Detroit on June 10-12, 2011. The national group is called THE AMERICAN CATHOLIC COUNCIL.

What attracted me to this story was a statement released by Detroit Archbishop Allen Vigneron warning Catholics in metro Detroit to stay (the hell [my insertion]) away from this convention.

The archbishop said some of the scheduled speakers espouse positions which are clearly contrary to Catholic faith.

Organizers of the convention are saying that Catholic leaders are using scare tactics to silence people and I may add, keep people from listening to Catholics other than Church leaders.

The archbishop asks us all to pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit (read Vatican) so we may embrace authentic (Vatican) development of faith and morals, and shun efforts which threaten unity.

The American Catholic Council responded by saying that many Catholics are dismayed at the lack of responsible pastoral leadership within the church, the lack of accountability for the sinfully criminal behaviors of predator priests and their clerical enablers and the lack of fiscal transparency present in reporting how hard earned donations are being spent and/or stolen.

Well now, let us break that down a little.

The Vatican (Vigneron) is trying to silence Catholic critics of the Vatican because the Vatican is the only body Catholics should listen to because:

They allowed hundreds if not thousands of innocent children to be molested by predatory priests. Yes, allowed because evidence shows that molestation continued with the knowledge of higher up clergy.

The pope (even the previous pope and who knows how many before them) did not show any acknowledgment of the molestations or took up any public campaigns to stamp out the abhorrent behavior by representatives of Jesus on earth. Benedict did not take action until he was forced to by lay Catholics so his mea culpa means nothing now.

They allowed fiscal shenanigans in Rome by clergy handling money donated by Catholics from around the world. As much as the Vatican has tried to hide them, many financial abuses have come out in the press.

How dare Archbishop Vigneron ask faithful Catholics to not listen to criticism of the Vatican in light of their abysmal, incompetent and criminal administration of the Catholic Church? In fact, it is the duty of priests, deacons, lay ministers and concerned Catholics everywhere, to listen to what “other” Catholics have to say about the Vatican and its failures.

The American Catholic Council is calling for church reforms and greater openness (transparency); no more hiding things in the closet which the church has been doing for hundreds of years. Let us talk about married priests and female priests and more acceptance of gays and lesbians.

I can’t wait to see who the scheduled speakers will be. I do know that one of the speakers will be HANS KUNG, a Swiss priest that has written many books that I have read.

You can check on what the council stands for and is up to:       Americancatholiccouncil.org.

Who knows; you may learn something you did not know before.

Related articles

• Detroit's Archbishop Vigneron lowers the boom on meeting of dissidents (te-deum.blogspot.com)

CHARLEVOIX CONDO: Leggs Inn was packed...

In the fall, we like to travel in Emmet County (the most northwest county of the Lower Peninsula) because it has rolling hills and gorgeous fall colors. While driving around, we like to stop at the LEGGS INN in Cross Village for a drink and some good Polish cooking.

If you look on your map of Michigan, you can tell that Cross Village is basically in no man’s land. You can take 31 north to 66 west and end in Cross Village or you can take 119 along Lake Michigan – if you dare.

Traveling 119 is like travelling in a tunnel of trees. The problem is that the road is very narrow and you have to be alert to on-coming traffic. The road is popular with bikers who consider 119 a thrill ride.

Being this late in October, we thought the Leggs Inn would be closing soon so there would not be a crowd of people there – wrong. The place was packed with bikers and other visitors out to see the colors. There was a 60 minute wait for a table and the seating was inside and on the terrace overlooking Lake Michigan; we settled for a drink.

For you who do not know about this place, it was founded by an immigrant from Poland that arrived in this country in 1912 and built the Inn ~ 1920 with the help of the local Indians.

If you can see how far off the beaten path the Inn is in 2010; what do you thing the area looked like in 1920?

Several family members have been running the Inn since the founder died. They also bring in young people from Poland to serve the guests during the summer season and maybe brush up on their English.

Next summer, make this your destination when up north.

CHARLEVOIX CONDO: Para-surfing?

After viewing the salmon running, we headed for the beach on Lake Michigan to see what we could see. In October, the wind is pretty stiff and Lake Michigan is all white caps crashing to shore.

We saw a couple that appeared to be flying kites, even though I thought they looked more like parachutes. As we moved closer, we could see that the man and woman were using these “parachutes” to actually surf the lake.

They were on “bogie” boards or similar to what snow boarders use with attached foot holders. The way the wind was blowing; these people really moved fast over the waves.

The water must have been cold but they seemed prepared with wet suits and other protective clothing.

It was a sight to behold…

CHARLEVOIX CONDO: Salmon are running...

We just got back from a long weekend at our condo in Charlevoix. The weather was great even though the leaves were a little past their peak color but still beautiful to see.

One of the things that happen in October is that salmon return to the place where they were originally came from which is usually a fast flowing stream. I don’t know how they remember where they came from but they do.

The salmon gather in Lake Michigan at the mouth of the stream they will swim up. Yes, up which means against the current; this is fascinating to watch.

You can actually see them gathering at the mouth (in photo you can see spray). They do this in spurts of energy and then rest behind a rock or spots with weaker water flow. In some cases, they actually jump up over the steps in the river and some of these fish are huge.

When they get to their destination, they spawn (lay eggs) which are fertilized and develop into salmon. The spawning fish then dies and deteriorates very quickly and become food for the young who once strong enough, swim down the stream into Lake Michigan and enjoy life until Mother Nature calls them back to their origins to start the cycle over again.

In Charlevoix, the DNR actually diverts these fish into a holding tank where the fish are gathered and transported to a different spawning area. A DNR official once explained it to me that they are just making sure that the spawning occurs in areas that are more hospitable to the spawning salmon and the young, once hatched, will remember the new place as their home to return to and spawn.

LAKE ERIE METROPARK: Migrating swans?

These fall weekends have been just gorgeous so we made the most of the weather and headed towards Downriver to Lake Erie Metropark.

We have been here a number of times in the past, specifically to visit the Marshland Museum and Nature Center area. It happens that in the fall, migrating birds stop here and especially birds of prey like hawks, falcons, etc.

We were a little late to view migrating birds of prey but we did get to see migrating swans? I have only seen swans alone or in pairs but never hundreds of them together.

I don’t really know what they were doing but they maybe resting and feeding to store up energy for a long migration? 

Since we drove all that way Downriver, we stopped at the Hungarian Rhapsody restaurant. I had the Hungarian Goulash and my wife had the Hungarian Platter. This restaurant has been around forever and has that old world charm to it.

YOGA: and Christianity?

Southern Baptist Theological Seminary President Albert Mohler has criticized the practice of YOGA calling on Christians to avoid the practice of YOGA and its spiritual attachments; he called it not a Christian pathway to God. Many Christians reacted to his words by telling him he did not know what he was talking about.

My only knowledge of yoga is that my daughter does BIKRAM YOGA which is practiced in a room heated to a temperature of 105°F – wow! I also have a friend that swears by it to lose weight; which he did big time.

Anyway, it appears that yoga has a spiritual or religious component to it but that most Americans use it as an exercise method and as a stress reliever so Mohler really did not know what he was talking about.

Yoga is part of Hinduism and dates back to 500 B.C. or there about. The way I understand it, the original premise was to learn control over your body (postures, breathing, senses, etc.) and through this control to unite the spiritual light within you with that of the eternal light of the universe and I suppose some may confuse the eternal light with some type of God figure and maybe it is that which Mohler was concerned about?

The reality in America is that yoga helps many people (millions) both physically and mentally and if Christian leaders are concerned that some Christian yoga practitioners are getting to be a little too spiritual, too bad, people need to get a little more spiritual. By spiritual, I mean connecting oneself with the earth around us (Mother Nature) which we know exists because we live in it every day as opposed to a religion that was invented by man for man.

Mohler is concerned about the very few Christians that may take yoga seriously enough to take it to the next level where you master concentration to the point which allows deep contemplation which could result in a state of enlightenment, at which point all religions become superfluous.

I don’t think Mohler has anything to worry about; I don't think many people, Christians or non-Christians, pursue or attain the final state of enlightenment but I could be wrong.

Related articles

• Christian leader: Avoid yoga! (boingboing.net)
• Southern Baptist Leader: Yoga Is UnChristian (alan.com)
• Albert Mohler, Southern Baptist Leader, On Yoga: Not Christianity (huffingtonpost.com)
• Religious Right Leader Says Yoga Is a Sin Against Christianity (gayrights.change.org)

SUPREME COURT: Right to free speech vs. right to privacy?

I will be watching the Supreme Court closely this term. The Court has three (3) females now although the newest one, Kagan, will have to “recues” herself in many cases since she was involved in them when she worked for the White House.

The one case that caught my interest was the one concerning crazy, religious anti-gay people protesting at the funerals of soldiers recently killed in action. This is a pretty emotional issue and it would be interesting to see whether the judges give into their emotions or stand firmly behind the Constitution and the First Amendment right to free speech.

You have seen this group on the news. They are members of the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas (basically an extended family of ~70 members) led by their pastor Fred Phelps (80) who is all about being anti-gay.

Why protest at soldier’s funerals? Well, Phelps sees the soldier’s deaths as God’s punishment of America for tolerating gays and lesbians or homosexuality in general, I guess. Remember, most if not all of the soldiers being buried were not gay.

This group of (shall I call them fanatics?) travels all over the nation protesting at soldier’s funerals. They are not dumb; Phelps is a lawyer and his lawyer daughter is arguing their case before the Supreme Court.

The issue pits the right to privacy against the right to free speech. The protestors do not disrupt the funeral, they usually protest along the funeral route which is a little different than barging in on a church service or even a gravesite service.

The original case was brought by a grieving father who felt his privacy to bury his son was violated by this group and a lower court found in his favor and awarded him $5 million for damages. Phelps appealed to the Supreme Court where it now sits.

On the surface, without emotion, the church seems to be within its rights to free speech. They did not invade the privacy of the funeral by somehow obstructing it or impeding the family from proceeding with the funeral service. No, they were just an annoying group of protestors that unnerved family members attending the funeral.

I cannot see any legal or Constitutional basis for denying them their right of free speech no matter how it affected the emotions of the soldier’s family.

Related articles

• Free Speech Vs. Freedom to Mourn in Peace: How Will the Supreme Court Rule? (dailyfinance.com)
• SCOTUS Hears WestboroGang vs. Gold Star Father Case (waronterrornews.typepad.com)
• Is the Westboro Baptist Church Protected by the First Amendment? [Video] (gawker.com)
• Jim Lichtman: Only About the Law? (huffingtonpost.com)
• Snyder v. Phelps: Inside the Supreme Court's Free Speech Showdown (time.com)
• Letters: Pickets at a Funeral: Testing the Limits of Freedom (nytimes.com)

LABOR: Something needs to change...

There was a very interesting article in the Sunday Detroit News by Nolan Finley, a conservative columnist. The title of his column was THE REASON WHY WE’RE POORER and it explored reasons why the state of Michigan is suffering so much in this current recession / depression.

Basically, he blames our current poor economic condition on us. Detroit was the Motor City; the automobile capital of the world. Unions made uneducated, unskilled workers pretty well off with high wages and benefits. Many people migrated to Michigan for a chance at one of those high paying jobs.

The middle class created by those union jobs had Michigan humming with prosperity. I remembered people from high school having no further ambition than to graduate and apply at Fords. My parents were not buying that; it was college or nothing.

Michigan leaders knew that being a one industry state was dangerous and Michigan needed to diversify its economy or suffer the consequences when things went sour for the auto industry. Well, we did not listen and we had many years of prosperity based on the auto industry but many kept saying that big paychecks for unskilled and uneducated labor was unsustainable and will eventually bite you on your ass – and it did!

So here we are now and today’s headline was “Tug-of-war within the UAW” 9/8/2010.

The auto companies, especially bailed-out GM, know that things have to change if they are to remain viable in the global marketplace. The UAW leadership knows that changes have to be made in how labor is paid but not the rank-and-file; they want their fat paychecks back or they will close the auto companies down. Do you think that is a stupid attitude to have? Do you think people should be thankful for having a job at all? Nope!

A GM plant in Indianapolis was slated to be closed when a buyer emerged but with the stipulation that the union workers take a pay cut; the union workers voted to close the plant.

GM announced that they will build new models at the Orion, Michigan plant where 60% of the union workers will make fat paychecks ($28 / hour) while 40% will make less ($15 / hour); union workers do not like this and may strike. We are talking about 1,550 jobs here.

Workers are saying that the lower wages are too low to raise a family. Well I will have to disagree with that statement. My father, who was unskilled and uneducated and did not work for an auto company, managed to raise us quite well thank you; we did not want for anything but, of course, we did not want much either.

I guess it all comes down to degrees. Yes, fat paychecks mean you can but more stuff and lower pay checks mean you buy less stuff, but you can survive and make it work – if you had to!

Here in Michigan, we created a union labor monster that is hard to slay but it must be killed if the state is to remain viable and if the auto industry here is to remain viable; at least the auto industry is trying instead of just leaving the state for more labor friendly states down south.

It appears that an auto industry vs. union labor Armageddon will have to take place and the sooner the better. The auto companies will have to take a stand or disappear at least from here, because the global marketplace will just crush uncompetitive companies.

I see the UAW leadership caving to member demands even though they know better. I also see the auto companies opening up their jobs to non-union contract workers willing to work for the lower wages and believe me, there are a lot of those who would gladly work for those lower wages; they would be happy just to have a job!

Michigan’s future will brighten if we bring in industry that requires educated, skilled workers that earn high salaries but to do that, we need to educate our population and that is not an easy task as you look at the utter mess that is Detroit’s Public School system.

Parents need to urge, no, demand their kids get a higher education or learn a skilled trade. Cost too much? I managed on the GI Bill and my brother took out loans and now is paying for his own Master’s Degree.

Where there’s a will, there is a way…

Related articles

• GM, UAW reach wage-cutting deal at small-car plant (sfgate.com)
• We Have A New GM, But The Same Old UAW, And That's Going To Be A Major Problem (businessinsider.com)

STEM CELL RESEARCH: Summit in Detroit!

The WORLD STEM CELL SUMMIT starts today in Detroit. The University of Michigan announced today that it has created a “stem cell” line of cells to be used in research.

Archbishop Allen Vigneron of the Archdiocese of Detroit and Dr. Eva Feldman, Director of the Medical Research Institute at the University of Michigan, debated the ethics of embryonic stem cell research in the Free Press today.

The Archbishop toed the usual Catholic line of an embryo is a potential human life and therefore cannot be destroyed or used for experimentation. He equates an in-vivo (in the body) embryo with that of an embryo in a Petri dish.

The reality about embryos is that due to in-vitro (test tube) fertilization procedures which are quite common today, excess embryos (tens of thousands) are destroyed by throwing them in the trash or washing them down the drain, on a regular basis; no one seems to mind that.

The Catholic Church cannot alter its stance on this issue; it has painted itself into a corner. The fact that stem cell research will be used to save lives and is therefore a pro-life effort holds no water with the Church; its all about what they think is pro-life or, I guess, life in general.

The Archbishop bases his argument on a law that makes it a crime to hurt or kill a fetus (embryo) during an assault, while an assault on an embryo in a Petri dish is not a crime.

I will say that the Archbishop prefaces his remarks by acknowledging that great strides are being made in medical science to hasten cures for some of our most debilitating diseases but he stops at the use of embryos which he calls our citizens-to-be which they are not since the cells used for research cannot grow into a person.

I too believe life is precious and should be preserved as best we can by making it possible for people to live long, healthy, productive lives.

As to embryos and our human reproduction model, well, Mother Nature has given us a way to reproduce that has worked well for thousands if not millions of years and will continue to work into the future as millions of new human beings are created BUT do not equate our reproductive process with the life of an existing human being; one is a bunch of cells and the other a living human being.

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• Scientists overcome hurdles to stem-cell alternatives (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

RELIGION: How ignorant are we?

Image via Wikipedia

There was quite an interesting survey taken by the PEW FORUM about religious knowledge in America. The results were interesting but not surprising (to me at least). They showed a very religious nation but a nation quite ignorant about religion(s) in general and Christianity in particular.

Out of all the adults surveyed, the average score on the religion test was F.

Out of all the adults surveyed, the groups that scored the highest (A) on this religion test were atheists, agnostics, Jews and Mormons. I think these groups know more about religion because they actually take the time to study religion(s) so as to form an educated opinion(s) about religion or at least know why they are religious and to know why they practice the specific religion that they do.

Thinking about my own religious education (Catholic), I remember in grade school, nuns basically hammering the catechism into my brain. I once remember asking a question and was doused with holy water because the devil was making me ask questions. I learned you did not ask, you listened and learned.

In high school (Holy Redeemer) I also asked questions in religion class and was taken aside by the civilian male teacher and told that he would be fired if he entertained my questions in class. He did direct me to the library at Wayne State University where I could find answers to my questions – and I did and I have been studying religion ever since.

I will admit that I am a puzzled why religious people know so little about their chosen faith. I remember growing up Catholic and being told what not to read (Bible) because I could develop or be led into “wrong” ideas about my faith; only those in the know (priests) could interpret writings “correctly” for me and keep me from straying into dangerous (evil thinking) territory. So the Catholic Church of my childhood (1960s) practiced a policy of “ignorance is bliss”. I am not sure about current policy but I doubt things have changed much.

I remember asking my mother (the ultimate Catholic) if she knew that Jesus had a number of brothers and sisters; she looked at me as if I was Satan himself.

I guess what I am questioning are the strong opinions of many religious people that are based on what? Do they just believe what they wish to believe or what they are told to believe? Do individuals have their own personal religion but belong to a larger religious group just to belong?

How can anyone have a religious opinion about social issues when they really don’t know why they hold those opinions? How about judging Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, etc. based on total ignorance of those religions?

We Americans are an interesting group to say the least…

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MEMORIAL SERVICE: A little different approach...

Last Sunday, we held (at our house) a memorial service for my father-in-law Michael Bylo. At his request, he was cremated and we did not go the traditional funeral home route.

My wife decided to have the service at our house because he spent his last days here and died here but also because he was a frequent visitor here sitting in his usual spots at the house; it seemed to be a lot more personal than to hold the service at a hall or at a restaurant.

We were expecting close to seventy (70) people so space was a consideration. We put up a large tent over the driveway with tables and chairs and also had a porta-john outside to ease the burden on the inside bathrooms but alas, all for naught since the chilly weather kept everybody inside; it was cozy to say the least.

We invited a Baptist minister even though my father-in-law was a Catholic, mainly because my wife liked his easy style and he was not overly religious as priests tend to be. He read some familiar Psalms and recounted the world that Mike Bylo lived through starting with the end of WWI in 1918, being in the Navy during WWII, and working for Ford for 30 years and retiring for more years than he actually worked. After a few more prayers the grandkids (all in their 30s) took to the floor.

My daughter Tanya read a poem by Kahlil Gibran from his book The Prophet (1923):

Foe what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

My niece (Kim) talked about how talking with her grandfather always made her feel better especially when he answered the phone with…my you’re looking good!

My son Zak’s piece was longer and more emotional:

TELL ME THE STORY AGAIN…

Catching baseballs hit over the wall into the street behind Tiger (Navin) Field during practice and turning them in to get into the games (for free).

Swimming in the Detroit River and getting whipped by the Coast Guard for crossing the line between Detroit and Windsor (Canada).

Selling newspapers all the way down

Michigan Avenue

when he was just a  little kid.

Going to the library with his sisters, who were all smarter than he was.

Carousing with his best friend Bob Simon at the piano bar.

Running away from home…

When I was younger, I didn’t quite understand why he needed to tell the same stories over and over again. It was something I figured I had learned about “old people” and was just one of those amusing little things you deal with.

Funny thing is, the older I got, I found myself doing the same thing; just ask Kimberly. And I realize now that I do it more for myself than for the other person. A lot of times it’s simply more comforting to relive past experiences, even if they were somewhat traumatic, than to deal with the stress of talking about what happened today and what’s going to happen tomorrow and the next year and so on…

At a certain point along the way, I discovered that the comfort he felt telling me the stories was shared by my comfort in hearing them. I cherished the moment each one started, as if they were on a mental conveyer belt. They had the same pacing, the same build up and the same genuine excitement in reliving the past every time. His experiences started to become my experiences vicariously and it was exiting for me to relive HIS past.

I often worried that the stories of my life’s history, to which my children and grandchildren would one day be privy, would pale in comparison to those experienced so vividly upon listening to Poppa. But as hard as it is for me to believe now, I know that my life is rich in its own way and all the more so because I knew him…and all his stories.

He chocked up at the end and my wife didn’t even attempt to talk.

After the talks came a song and quiet reflection. The song was from a group of songs compiled by our great friends from North Carolina (Steve & Susan). The compilation was composed of Carolina “Beach Music” something the locals listened to when at the beach. The song in question had lyrics that included the refrain “…satisfy my soul and heal my heart…” it was perfect for the occasion and many hearing it had tears in their eyes, it was that moving.

Children in attendance were quiet and paid close attention to the service. Some grew quite emotional and asked their parents to explain their feelings and where did the person they saw at many family occasions go.

After the service, people gathered in groups to talk and reminisce and eat a fantastically catered spread of finger foods and deserts; the bar was on the deck where the alcohol kept everyone there warm enough.

Many people commented that they have never been to such an affair or such an alternative to the normal funeral routine and they liked it better. Maybe we started a trend but I know we prefer this for ourselves when the time comes.

Many talked about how they were dissatisfied with normal funeral services as not being personal enough with the priest not knowing the deceased but the only one talking about the deceased. Hey, maybe this will change how people say goodbye to their loved ones even thought it would be detrimental to funeral homes and churches.

We stayed up late talking about what just occurred and agreed that it was indeed a good send-off and that Mike Bylo would have appreciated the effort and all the people that came to say good-bye.

The next day, as also per his request, we, in-laws and niece, headed out to

Rotunda Drive

near the original Ford Rouge Plant where Ford maintains its baseball diamonds. It is here that my father-in-law as a Ford white –collar worker played on the Ford team(s) and later helped coach other Ford teams including his favorite female team. According to him, these were some of his happiest moments; he wanted his ashes spread around second base and we did so.

It was a windy, grey day as we placed a sunflower on each base including the pitcher’s mound (he pitched). Linda read a sentiment sent to us by our great friends George and Kate from Monterrey, California:

“Many cultures believe that when a body is cremated, the soul’s inner spirit is then free to journey to their chosen place or their birth place.

I am sure that your dad will be coaching many more teams on that ball field”.

After that, we drove to Chilies for lunch.