Saw an article in
the October 1 Free Press that really struck close to home: KEEPING THE FAITH AT HOME; Instilling spirituality in children still
matter, even in nonreligious families. The article is actually from the
Chicago Tribune and was written by William Hageman.
The subject is
timely because even though most Americans consider themselves as “believers”
more and more of them say they are “non religious” (40%) even those that term
themselves “religious” do not necessarily belong to any “organized” religion or
“church”.
In my own case, my
family was very Roman Catholic and in particular, Polish Roman Catholic which
melds the religion into the ethnic identity. My upbringing followed a strict
Polish Catholic regiment practiced by most Polish families in those days and
included grade school and high school taught by nuns with all the requisite
Catholic sacraments including First Communion, Confirmation, etc.
All the Catholic
indoctrination since childhood could not stifle my inquiring mind which had
questions that needed answers which eventually led to a life long inquiry into
religion(s) with a solid conviction that all religions are man made but also
that our human make-up (DNA) demands some form of religious / spiritual
constituent in our lives.
My wife who enjoyed
her Protestant faith while growing up, promised to raise our children Catholic
as required by the Catholic Church in cases of inter-faith marriages…we had a
grand Polish / Ukrainian Catholic wedding but early on into our marriage we realized we
were not really religious and would not raise our kids in any religious
environment.
Which brings us to
the article in question which claims: “spirituality” in children still matters
even in non-religious families.
I agree that the
subject of religion must be talked about if kids are to grow up in the “real” world out
there which has a lot of “religion” and “religious issues”. I have always
maintained that the more you know about a subject the better so I have always
encouraged my kids to take “comparative religion” courses which gave at least a
factual introduction to religions and their beliefs; homework consisted of
visiting various houses of worship and talking to a member of the religious
institution.
Some of our family
traditions were based on religious holidays such as Christmas and Easter and
were perfect times to discuss their religious aspect as well as maybe the
natural as in Mother Nature aspect practiced by our forefathers before those
holidays took on religious significance.
I still remember
when my parents wanted my kids baptized even if they had to kidnap them to do
it, believing that only the baptized could enter heaven. We agreed to it
without no problem but I do point out to our kids that the belief that baptism
is necessary to enter heaven has now been dropped by the Catholic Church
together with the belief in a Purgatory… and we can be cremated now…how times
change...and does anybody ask why since those beliefs were welded into our
being when I was growing up...did somebody make a mistake?
Even my Catholic
family members are having trouble answering some of their kid’s questions after
Catechism class because quite frankly, some of the teachings defy logic as the
Catholic Church sticks to some of their more indefensible positions on
contraception, stem cells, etc. and what about those “naughty” priests.
I think the biggest
point we as non-religious people, can make with our kids is to teach them that you don’t have to be
religious to be “good”. To be a good and responsible citizen of this earth and
behave in an ethical and moral manner towards your fellow man is a “humanist”
type of appropriate behavior and not a religious commandment punishable by a
trip to hell.
The article points
to the fact that the greatest influence on children and their concept of
correct behavior and thought comes from the examples that parents set for their
children to follow or emulate. Parents have to show what motivates their
behavior or thought if there is no religious motivator…why do you behave the
way you do.
The other important
point to instill into your non-religious kids is how to accept and respect
people of religion even if it makes no sense based on your own non-religious
belief system. In many cases, “traditions” have taken the place of “belief” and
I think ethnic/ religious traditions are a great way of learning various
cultures and the history of the tradition(s) development throughout their history…love
that stuff.
Anyway, I was glad
to see that this topic is getting some exposure and discussion because as we
turn more and more secular [but still keep our traditions] our kids and
grandkids will need more information from us and help in answering the million
questions they will have as they grow up in this modern world of ours.
I still miss what
they are saying about instilling “spirituality” into our children…is it
something to replace formal religion…more later…
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