CULTURE AND THE MARRIAGE BED...

OK, here is one topic way out there. It is from France where many Muslims are re-locating. The French are adamant about forcing the Muslims to take up French ways – I know you have heard how they have banned the “Muslim scarf” in schools and all.

The Wall Street Journal article “Secular, Muslim Culture Clash Ensnares French Doctors”, June 10, 2008 talks about French doctors performing HYMENOPLASTY on Muslim women before they get married – puzzled?

In the Muslim culture, a bride MUST be a virgin unless the groom agrees to it being otherwise – never! This means that the bride must have an in tact “hymen”. During the initial intercourse with the new husband, the hymen is broken by the husband’s penis which results in blood on the sheets.

If the husband feels no hymen and there is no blood, his bride lied to him that she is a virgin and the marriage is annulled.

In France, the courts have been upholding annulments under these circumstances because they see it as a “false” contract; not about virginity but about prenuptial lying. I can see the legal side of it quite clearly and logically.

BUT French women are up in arms over the court’s decision saying it is un-French – huh?

Anyway, the story is about French doctors that “mend” hymens for women before marriage and they are busy as hell. They can stitch something together AND provide a vial of blood to spill on the sheets so the husband feels something and sees something.

Now I ask you, does this seem fair to you? I am talking to the men here.

I realize a hymen can be broken by many means other than intercourse. Girls are very active these days and vigorous sports can cause the hymen to tear so I do understand that side of the woman’s plight.

BUT if she is not a true virgin and she indicates to her fiancé that she is – something is not kosher here!

The work needs to be done on the males and the culture. I feel none of the males are virgins yet they expect their bride to be one – something ALL males in the world wish for BUT in reality, that is hard to find.

This is a tough one because in my generation or maybe I should say in the previous generation that influenced my some of my generation (me), virginity was expected. Free love in the 1960s changed all that but not for everyone.

I would think that TODAY virginity is rare and since people are getting married later, virginity is probably non-existent.

So here is the dilemma, should the woman lie and trick her husband or should the culture modernize? Well the culture will not modernize its ways for some time even though reality will be quite different. The women will continue to play their games and the men will pretend they have a virgin and all will be well.